Fear is the driving factor in human survival; in the context of being the other, fear restricts the subconscious by defending itself from being perceived as divergent. Within my practice, I fantasize and actualize armor and spatial elements that engage the isolation of ontological in-betweenness as the other, a separate realm of existence. What is survival within modern culture, and how has emotional instinct evolved?
I investigate the medial space that exists within the subconscious as both realms of fantastical escapism and invisible defense mechanisms. Identifying dreamscapes as memento mori’s chronicled as ego death in conversation with the loss of innocence and dissociative coping to trauma. I enjoy portal-casting as it actualizes inaccessible thresholds, depicting the existential isolationist quality of consciousness and identity. With the use of draped fabric and fragile lace, I study hyper-fixation into dissociation in response to bodily anguish and visceral trauma. My work proposes a netherworld containing artifacts from the subconscious, a dimension of terrariums and cages, attempting to grasp the imperceptible.
Within my process, I draw on my experience with sexual assault and my relationship with my body, as an untouchable entity and in renditions of body as architecture and techno-organic paraphernalia. Considering the nuances of shame, estrangement from the body, and forgiveness. Art for me is not only a conduit for therapeutic value but also contains a sense of protection that provides subliminal comfort.
My practice utilizes slow sculpting with molten metal and 3D drawing, mimicking the development of cerebral coping mechanisms. The process of fragile detailing and intimate space-making mirrors forms of escapism and repression as cultivated forms of evading fear. My work physicalizes a dreamscape that protects, yet is seductively treacherous. Visual references to Gothic architecture and Euro-mythological motifs epitomize the usage of Eurocentric ideals in the pursuit of integration between cultures. I use white in reference to the multi-cultural intrinsic idea of purity and innocence; while also acknowledging my own experience with white-washing. In contrast, weaving together trauma and childlike fantasy with a somber sensitivity.
My background informs my practice based on the intricacies of being an Asian-American woman exploring what it means to be perched between multiple cultural boundaries, within the confines of bodily and generational trauma. Using ornamentation, I attempt to reclaim the Yellow Woman’s identity to transcend being an ornament for White desire. Playing with dimension-building and armor for the interstitial body, while also physicalizing the subconscious. In this reclaimed netherworld, I aspire to create a space for connection, introspection, healing, and to spark conversation.